Which school holidays movie is more bearable for adults? We tried out PAW Patrol and Teenage Kraken

You might not get much of a choice when it comes to which movie you watch this school holidays.

If you're taking along a niece, nephew, or child of your own, you may have to be a team player and choose a flick suitable for their age group (snore). Or, they may be so completely obsessed with PAW Patrol that not a single alternate thought can enter their tiny little brains.

But if you do get a vote — or are just going to see a kids movie by yourself (same) — we did the hard work of watching the two big offerings for the September hols to find out which is the best for grown ups.

PAW Patrol: The Mighty Movie

Age range: Preschool and kindy littlies.

Hate to break it to you, but this children's movie is indeed a movie for children.

I went into this film a PAW Patrol virgin, and boy did I leave feeling cultured by the phenomenon that is "Chase on the case".

If you're also new to the franchise, it's summed up pretty early on in the film by a news reporter: "They're cute little puppies who drive around in cars! I know that sounds weird but just go with it."

Except, in this movie, our dogs have powers! It's a kind of Tron meets Avengers, but with a soundtrack that includes Olivia Rodrigo and Charli XCX (slay).

The film includes a villain whose origin story is that everyone calls her a "mad scientist", which she hates, so I like to think that'll become the newest insult in the playground now.

I'm also obsessed with Mr Monopoly/chief corrupt capitalist Mayor Humdinger — a very cheeky guy!

Most of this movie's jokes weren't particularly funny, and the plot was too predictable to be exciting.

Even a four-year-old in my cinema loudly proclaimed that the climax would easily be resolved, "because the PAW patrol always saves the day". I guess you could say the same for most Marvel movies though.

As a film, PAW Patrol isn't much fun if you have more brainpower than a toddler.

But the kids in my cinema screamed "again! again! again!" as soon as the credits rolled, and were pretty obsessed throughout. So, if you're trying to impress a cute little mega-fan, this will still be more than worth your time.

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken

Age range: Primary school kiddies (both early to late primary).

Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken is also a little predictable for adults, but makes up for it in every other department.

This DreamWorks Animation follows Ruby: your classic awkward teen who's at war with a mum who just doesn't get her.

Ruby's really good at maths, and is planning to ask her crush to the prom with an advanced quadratic equation, the answer to which will display 'PROM?' on the calculator (instead of the 80085 most of our calculators suffered through in high school).

Oh, and Ruby's also secretly a giant kraken.

Sure, Ruby and her family are blue, but no one's realised they're kraken's yet — they just say they're from Canada.

But after an unfortunate mishap over said prom-posal, involving a commercial grade confetti canon, Ruby finds it increasingly difficult to keep her true identity under wraps.

Before long, she gets drawn into the underwater world of her kin, where she learns of her legendary royal lineage, and her family's war with the evil mermaids (a nice subversion of the classic girl-to-mermaid trope).

It's refreshingly modern, with jokes that are entertaining for adults too — I enjoyed grandma kraken's mention that she goes to therapy now: "I see a wise hammerhead shark on Wednesdays and I let my rage go." There is also a (subtle) queer character and detailed, imaginative animation.

I do wonder why Ruby's mum, a giant kraken, would choose to live on land as a "real estate warrior" though. But perhaps all real estate agents are secretly deep sea monsters.

I imagine this film would be enjoyable for children too, but who really cares what they think? (I joke, I joke).

What else is playing this holidays?

If you haven't already caught them yet, you can check out older releases like Disney's Haunted Mansion or the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, which both look to be aimed at slightly older kids.

Or put yourself first and drag your kid along to My Big Fat Greek Wedding 3, which is only rated PG. Start 'em on the classics young I say!